STUDIES IN BIBLICAL ETHICS No. 11
May 19, 1996
Review
We are finishing up our consideration of the law of God as a
foundation of our ethics and its summary in the two great commandments. Last week we
considered what the words "as yourself" meant in the second great commandment:
"love your neighbor as yourself." We said that it is a moral duty to love
yourself, but not in an idolatrous way and that this proper commitment to your own
well-being must be extended as well and equally to others.
Tonight I want to elaborate that thought. What does it mean to
love your neighbor as yourself, to consider his interests, or hers, as equal to or even
greater than your own. That latter, stronger way of speaking, is found in Paul in Phil.
2:3: "...in humility consider others better than yourselves." There is
the true antidote to the wrong kind of self-love and the proof that my childhood Sunday
School class (JOY) knew better than Erich Fromm!
But rather than consider the demand of the second great
commandment in general, I want to apply it to one particular aspect of Christian ethics,
namely, forgiveness. What does the requirement to love our neighbor as ourselves mean with
respect to the forgiveness we owe to those who mistreat us, even terribly mistreat us.
We know, of course, that this is in fact what the commandment to
love our neighbors as ourselves entails, because the Scripture says this plainly and the
Lord Jesus himself made it a special emphasis of his ethical teaching. And the reason it
is such a good way to study the obligation of the second great commandment is precisely
because it is the maximum demand that this commandment places upon us, the very pinnacle
of its obedience, the way in which Christians are to be so clearly and plainly
distinguished from non-Christians in their behavior.
It is not always put in the very same way, but the obligation is
all the more impressive for that!
Matt. 5:43-48: "You have heard that it was said,
'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' [That is, we are talking about what it means to
love your neighbor as yourself!] But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who
persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on
the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love
those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even
pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
Luke 6:27-36 Luke gives the same teaching in a more
elaborate form. "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who
hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes
you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him
from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to
you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you [the second
commandment again!]. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even
'sinners' love those who love them.... But love your enemies, do good to them, and led to
them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will
be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful
just as your Father is merciful [see there the appeal to self-love also?]."
Rom. 12:14: "Bless those who persecute you; bless and
do not curse."
So Paul did himself, 1 Cor. 4:12-13: "When we are
cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer
kindly."
1 Peter 2:18-23: "Slaves submit yourselves to your
masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to
those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust
suffering because he is conscious of God.... To this you were called, because Christ
suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps....When they
hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no
threats..."
1 Peter 3:9: "Do not repay evil with evil or insult
with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a
blessing.
And, many other texts like those. And not in the NT only as if
this were a new feature of biblical ethics. The OT puts it more simply, but no less
effectively for that:
Exod. 23:4-5: "If you come across your enemy's ox or
donkey wandering off, be sure to take it back to him. If you see the donkey of someone who
hates you fallen down under its load, do not leave it there; be sure you help him with
it."
Let me begin our consideration of these demands with an example
that Cornelius Plantinga uses to illustrate the complex and difficult questions that swirl
around this commandment to forgive and to treat our enemies with love, respect, and
goodwill.
[CT April 29, 1996, p. 31] "Suppose that you are a lonesome,
middle-aged woman who has finally met a suitable man. He speaks gently, laughs musically,
and reads widely. He walks you slowly through spring air that is laden with the scent of
lilacs and points out the nesting habits of finches, particularly of the yellow ones. He
relishes a good Sunday sermon and can later recall whole swatches of it while he cooks
your dinner. He is almost unimaginably attentive. This charming man fills you with such a
sense of promise, with so much trust and love and longing, that you never do ask why he
wants to arrange a joint banking account while the two of you are still on your honeymoon.
After he cleans you out, disappears immaculately, and then shows up on a most-wanted list
(six aliases, two previous convictions for similar offenses), you face a terrible truth.
You have been betrayed, and you never saw it coming.
Now some questions. What would have to happen before you could
forgive this louse? Would he have to repent? Suppose you never see him again. Could you
forgive him anyway? As a Christian, must you forgive him? How soon? For his sake of
for yours? What if you try to forgive him, but can't? May your pastor, sedate in his
wisdom and serene in his marriage, urge you to forgive? Doesn't that just add a load of
guilt to your trauma?
Anyhow, isn't forgiveness too good for traitors? Isn't there
something almost unjust about it -- something that trivializes the offense and encourages
the offender to repeat it? May people just go around hurting other people, changing their
lives forever, and then nonchalantly accept forgiveness for all the litter they leave
behind?
Suppose you eventually do succeed in forgiving the litterer. Does
this mean you must take him back into your life somehow? Does it mean you would not
testify against him at his bigamy trial or acquiesce in his imprisonment? Does it mean you
like him better than you used to?
When you forgive a person, what is it that you actually do? Do
you make a move against one of your emotions? Which one? Do you shut a file in your
memory? How so? ... Do you take a vow of some kind? Out loud and in the presence of the
traitor? What is the basic machinery? If your nine year old asks what she must do to
forgive somebody who humiliated her at school, what do you say? Well, so far Cornelius
Plantinga. But he laid out the questions well, did he not?
I don't propose to answer them all or even to answer any of them
in just the way Prof. Plantinga posed them, but let me set out at least to summarize both
the "how" and the "why" of biblical forgiveness, especially the
forgiveness we extend to our enemies.
I. Let me begin with the "how."
I do that on purpose, because, it seems to me, too much is
made of the "how" when, in fact, that is not really the issue, not really the
problem, at least not the fundamental problem.
It seems to me that the Bible addresses the "how" of
forgiveness, even the forgiveness of enemies, in very practical ways that are wonderfully
illuminating in a general way. However, like all other areas of biblical ethics, as
we have already seen, much is left to the individual and much depends upon the motive and
the intention of the heart. The one who truly hungers to forgive finds his way forward,
the one who has to be convinced that he must do it always finds his problems in execution.
As C.S. Lewis put it: "The hard sayings of our Lord [and
surely that we must forgive our enemies is one of those hard sayings] are wholesome only
to those who find them hard." My experience is that people who easily and completely
agree that, of course, we are to forgive our enemies but then have a hundred questions of
detail regarding just what forgiveness means, who is the enemy, how is he to be forgiven,
when is he to be forgiven, etc. are people who really have not felt the force of that
commandment at all and do not really want to forgive for Christian principles. Those who
know how hard the saying is are those who see most clearly what it means and what it will
cost them in repentance and spiritual trouble. But they are the ones who really want to
forgive and want nothing in themselves to stand in the way of that forgiveness. You see,
I'm not saying this is easy! Quite the contrary; it is the maximum demand! Usually it
shouldn't be so hard the offense is not so great; but sometimes the offense was terribly
great! We should have sympathy with such struggling to forgive a cruel enemy for terrible
wrongs, when we struggle to forgive minor enemies for mere slights.
Let me then suggest five ways to think about how to
forgive an enemy, five approaches that are all clearly represented in the Bible's
teaching.
1. The first is the words "as yourself" in the
commandment.
For an honest, sincere, Christian heart, how clarifying this
simple perspective is. You are to extend the same forgiveness to your enemy that you would
want extended to yourself under similar circumstances. Let me see: would that be
half-hearted, grudging, arrogant forgiveness that makes clear that, so far as you are
concerned, the debt has not been paid and you are still being charged over and over again
in the other's heart; or would that be a full, sincere, warm-hearted, well-intentioned
forgiveness that is communicated so as to make perfectly clear that you are no longer
condemned over and over again in the other's heart, but that there is mercy genuinely
extended to you.
Forgive as you would want to be forgiven. And over and over again
answer your questions as to "how?" and "to what extent?" by simply
reminding yourself that you are to treat this person as you would want to be treated if
you had committed similar crimes. And, of course, a real Christian knows how capable he is
of committing similar crimes, no matter what the crimes may be! Given the same influences,
the same opportunities, the same background, the same misfortunes, what might your heart
lead you to do?
2. The second is to eschew, forswear vengeance, to renounce
revenge.
And, of course, because we Christians know that all our behavior
is considered both as the acts we perform and the thoughts and attitudes that
produce those acts, we must renounce revenge in our hearts as much as we renounce it as an
act we desire to perform against someone.
Rom. 12:17,19: "So not repay anyone evil for evil. Do
not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is
mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord."
Honest Christians will know how much is being asked of them here.
How many times and in how many ways we murder in our hearts individuals who have offended
us in some way, who have misused us or, perhaps only have not served us, as they should,
or, perhaps only as we wanted them to. Murder them over and over again in our hearts, all
the while protesting our having forgiven them completely.
This is what forgiveness will require when it is extended to
someone we regard as an enemy. It will require us to guard our hearts, to subject our
thoughts to God's law, to refuse to think hatefully or with superiority about others, no
matter how bitterly and with what difficulty and violence such thoughts must be put down,
must be murdered themselves in our hearts. The best men and women of the church's past,
the most expert in the ways of godliness and the spiritual warfare will tell you what it
costs, what time and what energy and what determination, and how you will hardly believe
what expedients, what means, what cost in pain and sweat and tears is required to take
vengeance out of an offended heart.
3. The Third way of forgiving an enemy is to bless and not to
curse your enemy.
This is a point the Lord regularly made, as in the verses I
already read to you. Paul makes it as well:
Rom. 12:19-21: "Do not take revenge...On the
contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to
drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by
evil, but overcome evil with good."
This is, of course, the example our Savior set for us when he
prayed for the forgiveness of his murderers, the very example that Stephen followed so
beautifully when he did the same for his murderers, among them no less than Paul himself.
Who is to say that it wasn't that prayer that, when answered, brought Paul into the
service of the gospel.
It is not enough simply not to take revenge, one must seek to
bless, to help, to love. As in the OT, to look out for his donkey and to do him some
service and kindness even though he did you harm.
4. The fourth way of forgiving an enemy is to refuse to
surrender to anger.
I offer this as a separate thought about the forgiveness of an
enemy because my experience has taught me that this is a special area of difficulty.
James saw this clearly enough when he wrote (1:19-20) that "man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."
Of course, there is a certain kind of anger that is entirely
appropriate and holy; we see it in the Lord's case. It is one thing, however, to be angry
on behalf of God and his Name, it is another thing to be angry on one's own behalf. Then
it is much, much harder to believe that the anger is really righteous and not, as it
appears to be, simply the defending of one's own honor or the exacting of mental revenge.
"Anger," as one put it, "is the fluid that love bleeds when you cut
it," and the love that bleeds the easiest and the most is self-love. So when we find
folk who have been harmed by others constantly referring to these texts and justifying
their anger as righteous, it is not hard to see that there is a fire burning within them
that will consume all possibility of true love and forgiveness for the enemy.
"Anger," C.S. Lewis wrote, "is the anaesthetic of
the mind." And what it numbs is precisely the ability to see ourselves in relation to
this great obligation to love others come wind, come weather, and to love them in
defiance of all they have done -- just as Christ loved us.
5. The fifth way of forgiving others, according to Scripture,
is to turn the matter of justice and retribution over to God and, with it, the matter of
the vindication of your own name or wellbeing.
This is what our Savior did and, in so doing, charted the path
for us.
1 Peter 2:23: "When they hurled their insults at him
he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead he entrusted himself
to him who judges justly."
1 Pet. 5:5-6: "All of you clothe yourselves with
humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the
humble.' Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in
due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Paul did this. "Alexander the metalworker did me a great
deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done." The imprecatory psalms,
remember, always leave the judging and the punishing to God. You needn't worry about
contributing to injustice by forgiving your enemy: God said "I will repay!"
Leave it to him.
And this is liberating for the person who has been terribly
wronged. The Lord knows all of what has happened to you; he could have prevented it,
indeed, had he chosen to do so. However mysterious his ways may be to you, they are good
and righteous altogether, as a matter of fact. And he has promised to vindicate all his
children at the proper time. Leave it to him.
And if you will seriously reckon with what sinners must
eventually receive from the Lord, his wrath and the misery of hell; or, even in the case
of the Christian who has harmed you, the dismay, the shame when he looks on the one whom
he has pierced, it will go a long way to taking the pleasure out of your vengeful thoughts
and to making it easier to leave the matter and its issue in God's all-capable hands.
Isa. 26:3: "You will keep in perfect peace him whose
mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."
There, then, is the "how" of the forgiveness of an
enemy -- whatever kind of enemy.
But, now, the "why!" And here is where the Christian
finds the power to do what unbelievers do not and cannot, really love an enemy.
1. First, we are to forgive as our Father in heaven does, to
treat our enemies kindly as he does the wicked.
This is the argument our Savior used. Your heavenly father is kind to the just and the unjust and you are to be like him. In how many ways does he not treat men as their sins deserve. If you are to be his true son or daughter then the same thing must be said of you.
This is one of the great ways to show your family resemblance and
to pay honor to your Father. Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
Luke 6:35-36: "love your enemies, do good to them,
and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great,
and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be
merciful, just as your Father is merciful."
That should be enough. God treats people who have been bad to
him, hateful, spiteful, disrespectful, blasphemous, even who continue to be bad, with
great forbearance, patience, and kindness. And, therefore, so should we. Period! Soli Deo
Gloria!
2. But, there is a second, still more powerful consideration
or motivation for the forgiveness of enemies. And that is God's forgiveness of us.
Col. 3:13: "...forgive whatever grievances you may
have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
Here is the foundation, the unassailable argument, the
unimpeachable motive. Christ has forgiven us a mountain of sins committed against his
infinite majesty. Will we not forgive sins committed against us -- especially we who have
been forgiven and know that we do not deserve it at all? Here is the argument to use with
yourself always when struggling to forgive. Do I think that my sins against God are not as
great as these sins against me? If I think so, can I be a true Christian at all? Can I
really have any understanding of God's saving grace or my own guilt? If my sins would have
sent me to hell forever..., and yet I have been forgiven and shown mercy, what is it to me
if someone has committed sins against me? And can I love God's mercy if it does not make
me merciful?
We are so ready to think that someone's sins against us are far
worse than ours against God, but, take care, brethren, that comes near to blasphemy! [The
recent debate at Covenant College over a speaker who defined racism as "prejudice +
power" meaning that minorities cannot commit the sin of racism. As Christian
psychologists seem as well to have argued that some people's trauma renders them incapable
of guilt for certain types of anger or unbelief. But, then, can that believer any longer
say "of whom I am chief?"] [Plantinga's questions at the last not the real
questions at all; once the one really asks "how may I forgive as Christ forgave
me?" As far as east is from west; buried in deepest sea, those other matters fall out
of sight and mind!]
No brothers and sisters, biblical ethics are not simply what
most people would take to be being nice to people. There is a grandeur here, a scandal
here, a way of life that will always seem utterly absurd to the world. We must teach our
children this. There is that in their lives that must appear to unbelief to be completely
foolish, even wrong and unjust. For we are followers of Christ and he taught us to love
our enemies, really love our enemies in his name. There is not nearly enough of this
wonderful and terrible foolishness and heroism and nobility in Christian living and
teaching today. We must get it back.
A Turkish officer raided and looted an Arminian home. He killed
the aged parents and gave the daughters to the soldiers; keeping the eldest daughter for
himself. Some time later she escaped and trained as a nurse. As time passed, she found
herself nursing in a ward of Turkish officers. One night, by the light of a lantern, she
saw the face of this officer. He was so gravely ill that without exceptional nursing he
would die. The days passed, and he recovered. One day, the doctor stood by the bed with
her and said to him, 'But for her devotion to you, you would be dead.' He looked at her
and said, 'We have met before, haven't we?' 'Yes," she said, 'we have met before.'
'Why didn't you kill me?' he asked. She replied, 'I am a follower of Him who said
"Love your enemies."' [Wainwright, Doxology, p. 434]
If God should grant us a number in this church,
perhaps of our children when the grow up, of whom similar stories might be told, I think
that then we could call ourselves a Christian church. And there will be such, even of our
number, if they are raised to believe, to know that nothing less is a true following and
imitation of Christ.