'What Love is'
1 John 3:11-24 November 19, 1989 (Series on 1 John: No. 12)
The Bible is characteristically very repetitive. What is considered to be important is
discussed over and again. In this central section of his letter, the Apostle John is
elaborating in greater detail the three 'tests of life' which he first introduced in
chapter 2, the three marks or characteristics of genuine life in Christ by which we may
judge the integrity of our own or anyone else's claim to be a Christian and to have
eternal life.
Having discussed a second time the test of obedience, or what has been called the moral
test, he comes, in the verses we just read, to discuss once again the test of brotherly
love, or what has been called the social test of salvation.
Now, in speaking of love, there are fundamentally two issues, or two questions if you
will. The first is 'why?' and the other is 'what?' John will address the first of those
two questions: love's motive, cause, and impulse in the second half of chapter 4 (the text
the elders have used in our recent visitation of the congregation).
Here in our text John addresses himself to love's definition, precisely what love is.
And it is a most necessary effort on his part. For we are always mistaking love, we are
always confusing it with something else, we are always deceiving ourselves into thinking
that we are practitioners of love when in fact we are not.
The Scripture is well aware of this. It often uses the word 'love', in a powerful
irony, in the same cheap and shoddy ways in which mankind so often debases this greatest
word. Amnon, we read in 2 Samuel 13 'loved' Tamar. And in pursuit of that love he deceived
her and then raped her. And when he was finished, the Scripture tells us, he hated her
with an intense hatred, he hated her more than a few moments before he had loved her. What
Amnon thought was love was nothing of the kind! And when Elizabeth Taylor reports that she
and Richard Burton divorced because 'they loved each other too much' we are reminded that
'love' in our day can also mean many things to many people.
John is aware of this. He so much as says in v. 18 that it is a chronic sin of men and
women, including Christians, to mistake the meaning of the word, to say and to think that
they have love for others when, actually, they do not. So it is imperative that we have
clearly in our mind exactly what love is, what love requires and involves. I am not aware
of any passage in Holy Scripture in which love is actually defined, furnished with a
definition. For example, John defined sin as lawlessness in v. 4 of chapter 3. Sin is
breaking God's law; but nowhere in the Bible is so simple a definition of love to be
found.
But the Scripture does not, for that reason, leave us in any doubt as to what it
understands love to be. It is always describing love and explaining what love requires and
how love must be practiced. We have such a passage before us this morning. And it is a
text, which if we will ponder it and, at the same time, be honest with ourselves, will
take us right down to the bottom of things.
Love, John is saying, is giving ourselves to others, as Christ gave himself to us. And
he mixes the indicative and the imperative together throughout. He will say that genuine
Christians do love one another, as he does in v. 14; but he also says that we should
love one another, as in vv. 11, 16, and 18. You may expect to find brotherly love in any
genuine Christian's life, but not to the degree that it should be found; it is there, but
it must always be still sought and will be still sought by a true follower of Christ who
wants to do his Master's will. It is, this brotherly love, at one and the same time, what
we have and what we seek.
I. And so, in the first place, John says, we cannot give ourselves to others if we
do not do so first in our hearts. Love is first an attitude of sympathy, fellow-feeling,
and benevolence toward one another.
John says in these very verses that 'God is greater than our hearts and knows
everything.' That is a comforting truth in many ways. Our consciences are often too
negative about our lives; we see nothing but our sin, while God sees down to the
fundamental convictions and desires of our reborn hearts and acquits us when our own
consciences would condemn us. But it also means that God knows what is in our hearts
regarding others. He judges our love as a single whole. He is not deceived if we pretend
to love someone while hiding animosity toward that person in our hearts.
John addresses himself to our attitudes regarding one another, our hidden feelings,
when he speaks in vv. 11-15 about hate. We should love one another, he begins in v. 11,
and that means, he then immediately says, we should not hate one another, as Cain hated
Abel, and as the unrighteous, in their jealousy and their guilty consciences, will always
hate the righteous.
Hate is all around us. And the world's hatred of Christians is everywhere to be seen. I
received a personal letter this week from a local businessman whom I had never met taking
violent issue with me for lending support to Tacoma's Proposition 2, which repealed the
City's statute protecting homosexuals from discrimination in housing and employment. He
had seen my name amongst many others in a newspaper ad for Proposition 2. This letter was
filled with hate and anger and in it I was, for the first time in my recollection,
referred to as a son of a bitch.
But, by telling believers that we should not hate one another as the world hates us,
John is warning us that just that same hatred lurks in our hearts and must be banished
from them. The Bible is always painfully realistic; it speaks to realities. If it commands
us not to hate, it is because we will and we do. We may say--'well, that is obvious; I
don't need to be told that; of course we ought not to hate; I don't hate anyone.' But, of
course, we do, all the time.
We too, like my letter writing friend, hate people we don't even know. Say it isn't so,
brothers and sisters. Do we not positively hate many public figures whose political views
are in opposition to our own? Do we not think cruel thoughts of them and wish them ill, in
a way we would want no one to think of us or wish for us?
A homosexual rights advocate hates me for nothing more than my allowing my name to
appear in an ad, but is it not true that we often really hate, have an active animosity in
our hearts for them, and for abortion rights advocates, feminists, liberal ministers, and
the like. Answer before the Lord who sees into your heart: is there not hatred there,
hatred which darts out of our viperous hearts to settle a thousand miles away on persons
who don't even know we exist!?
Would that it were only for such, however. Still worse, we must admit that John is
speaking the truth about us when he tells us not to hate one another. For we
do; far more than any of us wishes to admit, we hate one another. It can be enough for our
ill-will that another person is praised in a way I wanted to be praised; that another is
well-paid, or prosperous, or talented, or successful; even, so utterly shameful to admit,
that another is holy and does holy things. Yes, we can even hate the grace of God in
another man or woman, when that grace, in our twisted view of things, raises the other at
our expense, or, more honestly, lowers us in comparison.
And this hatred is so real and so deep that very often it will accompany a man or a
woman to the grave. I know a Christian minister who harbors a deep animosity toward
another Christian minister and has for many years; and, unless the Lord intervene, that
animosity will accompany him into the casket and down into the ground.
And, from time to time, you will suddenly run across a brother or a sister, here in the
church or out on the street and you will in that moment discover that the same devil lives
in them that lives in you. There will be light in his eyes or hers and a carefree spirit
until he or she caught sight of you. And suddenly the light dies on her face and darkness
comes up out of her heart all from one glimpse of you. What is the matter? What have you
done, you ask yourself, that anyone's heart should be so dark because of you? And as you
walk past in the oppressive cloud and darkness she has left behind her you recollect that
once you disagreed with her, or once you were given a place she wanted for herself, or
folks who used to spend much time with her, now spend more with you, or the like such
small things as these. And, unless you ward off the growing resentment with an
arrow-prayer to God for a loving heart and for the forgiveness of her sins and your own,
you will not have walked twenty steps before you own heart is as black with hatred as hers
was made at the sight of you.
Oh No! John is not exaggerating. He knows very well that he must tell us straight out
that love requires that we banish from our hearts the hatred we so often entertain toward
one another; and that we must put on--in obedience to Christ and in recognition of his
great love for us in defiance of our sins against him--a spirit of good will, interest,
sympathy, kindness, and benevolence toward others.
You may remember the famous remark of the Austrian statesman, Metternich, regarding the
horrible bloodshed and violence and hatred which accompanied the French Revolution and
which was all defended and practiced in the name of 'brotherhood.' Said Metternich:
'Having seen what was done in the name of brotherhood, if I had a brother I should call
him my cousin.' And so it can be in the church. There is love, yes, love far beyond what
exists as a rule in the world, a love which marks real Christians as different from those
who are not. But, even at that, there is still in your life and mine a long, long way to
go, before we are loving one another in the church as Christ would have us and as our own
happiness and holiness and fruitfulness require.
And, says John, if we are to grow in love as we should and must, we must first clean
hatred out of our hearts and not rest until every piece of ill-will we discover there is
repented of and put to death, is argued into shamed silence by considerations such as
God's love for us in defiance of our sins, and such as the evil and foolishness of sinners
such as we are hating others for their sins or, still worse, for what are no sins at all.
No, says John, we must not rest until we have clean, all-men-loving hearts, such a heart,
that is, as our Savior has.
II. Second, John says, love being the extending of ourselves to others, we must also
offer our hand. Love is, in addition to the attitude of the heart, an active and
determined kindness, help, and generosity.
Love is, John says in v. 16, doing what Jesus did; laying down our lives for
others, that is spending ourselves for their sakes. Meeting people's needs, doing them
good: that is love, says John; that is the love which ought to abound in a community of
people who look to Jesus of Nazareth as their example.
And then, he provides a practical example of such love in verse 17. But right at this
point is a great danger. We may very well read v. 17 with approval and indeed, in all
honesty, fully intend to meet such a need for material possessions if a brother or sister
has such a need. But, in the subtle workings of our flesh, we have made an example into
the thing itself. We can even go on to think that v. 18 makes such practical gifts of food
or shelter or clothing the essence of love.
The problem is, of course, that in our fellowship there is comparatively rarely such a
need to be met. We are not a poor congregation. I do not want to minimize the obligation
to help the poor which obligation we have for the poor in our own midst, the poor we come
into contact with, and the poor to the four corners of the earth. But, I don't want anyone
to hear this text and think that you have met the requirements of love because you stand
ready to give to a poor person if, in the unlikely event, you happen to find one sitting
next to you in the pew.
John's point is a broad one. Whatever a person's need is; love seeks to meet it. If it
is food and clothing; love provides it. If it is a friend, a listening ear, some practical
assistance, love offers it. We are always guilty of dodging our true responsibilities by
emphasizing the importance of the duties which we are seldom required to perform. (We
stand ready to hide Jews in our attack if Nazi's come looking.) And we accept the
Lord's commandment: if someone comes up to us on the street, and, knowing that we are
Christians, he slaps us on the cheek, demands our shirt, and orders us to walk a mile down
the street with him, why, we will turn the other cheek, give him, not only our shirt but
our coat also, and go, not one mile, but two. Now, the fact that no one has ever done that
to us or asked that of us, well, we can hardly be blamed for that, can we?
No, Jesus' point and John's point is that every day, every week of our lives, people
have need of possessions, people are slapping us on the one cheek and demanding our shirts
and our miles' walk. It matters not what particular thing they need, or what they ask of
us, or what their interest requires that we do. Love will do it and love will supply it.
Indeed, we must not misunderstand John in v. 18. He means that we must not just talk
love but actually give love. But, love is very often given most helpfully and fruitfully
with our words and with our tongues. Love is carried by speech more profoundly than by any
other means. Speech which, as Paul puts it, builds up; speech which affirms, which
compliments, which assures, which encourages, which expresses gratitude, which instructs,
inspires, edifies, protects, and praises a brother or a sister. All of us need such loving
speech from one another more than we need food and clothing. Words, the right words, are
our most important deeds of love.
And then, whatever else would benefit our brother or sister: Paul says anything at all
that would benefit them, he stood willing to do. Much as he loved meat, he would live as a
vegetarian if it would build up his brother. Now that is laying down your life for
another!
But, says John, love always chooses its works not from its own interests, but always
and only from the interests and the needs of others. Search your hearts, brothers and
sisters; this is a passage which is designed to make us think long and hard about our
lives. Is love of the brethren paramount with us; are we like our Savior in this holy
consecration of ourselves to others, first in our hearts and then with our deeds?
You may remember that after the revocation of the Edict of Nantes in 1685, the
protestants in France, the Huguenots, suffered terrible persecution. Some twenty years
later, in the midst of that terrible danger for evangelical Christians, a young reformed
minister, Antoine Court, organized a clandestine meeting of seven ministers and two
elders, the first of the famous 'synods of the desert'--to organize more effectively the
life and work of the now underground reformed church. By 1732, some 15 years later, all
the members of that first synod, had been found and executed except Antoine Court himself
and he was eventually as well. But successors were ready to take their place. In the
course of those years, through Court's leadership, a seminary was established in Lausanne,
Switzerland to train young Frenchmen who would then be sent back to pastor the scattered
believers in France. Year after year the flower of French Christianity would graduate from
that academy and sneak back into their homeland to begin their ministry and to face an
almost certain death. In fact, the diploma of that seminary in those days was known, by a
kind of wry and dark humor, as a Brevet de Potence--a certificate for the gallows. One
after another of those young men took their diploma in hand and went back to a French
gallows all for love for God and for his people.
Have you such a certificate in your possession; such a Brevet de Potence? Beloved, God
does not call us at this moment to the gallows; he does not even call us to give up meat!
But he does call us every day, every week, to pay the price of love, to practice love,
Christ like, self-denying, cheek-turning, coat-giving, extra-mile-walking love. He tells
us here, through John, not to rest until our hearts are aflame with love for our brethren
and until we can say plainly every day how it was that, in love, we sought after and met
the needs of our brethren; until we can say plainly how we, following our Redeemer, have
given up our lives for them, and can point to the weariness, and the disruption of our
well-laid plans, and the emptiness of our pocket book, and to the tears of joy and or
sorrow, to the completely mended friendships which sin had disrupted--all evidence that we
have laid down our lives and kept nothing back when our brother's interest or our sister's
interest was at stake.
And, if loving us is still hard for you to do--for all our unattractiveness and all our
sins; and I can believe it is--then, do this, Christian friend. Take to heart what John
has already said in chapter 3 verse 2. 'We shall all be like HIM because shall see Him as
he is!' If you could see any genuine Christian in this house of worship this morning as he
or she will one day be; however dull, however petty and small minded, however sinful he or
she may now be; I say if you could see them as they will one day be, you would be strongly
tempted, not to despise them or ignore them, but to worship them! These are not ordinary
people, beloved; we are not! The Lord Christ thought us worth his infinite humiliation,
his suffering and his death on the cross. And he has the most amazing future prepared for
us. Surely in hope of what Christ will make us we must be worth your affection and your
interest and your sympathy and your kind speech and your works of generous assistance.
Look about you at this company of sinners saved by the love and the sacrifice of Jesus
Christ; ponder your life and how much more it must and it can be dominated by the love to
which Christ calls us, and promise the Lord:
Lord Christ, give me the grace, and I will give myself to my brethren, my heart first
and then my hand, and will love them, not in appearance only, but with whatever it takes
to do them real good, whatever the cost to myself. Let me not fail to do and, finally, to
excel at doing the main thing you have made me and saved me to do!
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